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Driver Solicited Money from Slugs for Ride
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KNLNGUS View Drop Down
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Joined: 29 Oct 2003
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    Posted: 07 Sep 2004 at 2:49pm
quote:
Originally posted by vabigblue
[br]Why was she so frightened and fearful because this incident happened to you? Isn't there someone you can introduce her to? Is she just that way around you or is it anybody anytime?


Other than the fact that she is a feminist, she does act protective and is that way around any woman, anytime. Well, I'd like to be able to introduce her to someone, however, that is a VERY difficult task. We can continue this conversation if you'd like on PM.

Take Care.
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote vabigblue Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Sep 2004 at 4:09pm
Why was she so frightened and fearful because this incident happened to you? Isn't there someone you can introduce her to? Is she just that way around you or is it anybody anytime?
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KNLNGUS View Drop Down
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KNLNGUS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Sep 2004 at 3:34pm
Originally posted by pb1974
[br]I believe the statistics show that rape is a violent act, and not a sexual one. It doesn't matter what your friend looks like - if she's uncomfortable with getting in the car with two males, then that's not BS to her. I don't weigh half of 350lbs, but if my friends ever start saying that I look "like a carved pumpkin 2 weeks after Halloween", I hope I would find some new friends.


Originally posted by KNLNGUS
[br]

I can imagine that rape in of itself is a violent act, however, I'm sure the offender gets some kind of (albeit twisted) sexual gratification.

Although I am being honest in reference to her looking like a carved pumpkin 2 weeks after halloween (the truth hurts), I used the reference in the half hearted belief that if I were a man, I couldn't look at her in that manner and keep a straight face, I would simply move on. She despises men because she can not attract any, if not for her weight, for her looks. I eat to survive vs surving to eat. I like food just like the next person, however, she knows no moderation.

This friend (yes, she is a friend) has filed 2 3rd party sexual harrasment incident reports. One on me, and the other against my wishes and on my behalf. In one incident, she witnessed a guy in the workplace place his hand on my knee during an office meeting and make comments about my perfume and hair. It didn't matter that I calmly removed his hand and asked to speak to him outside. I took care of the matter. She is the one who was so frightened and fearful and couldn't sleep that night that the next morning she filed a complaint.

Then months later, I, in a flirting manner, placed both hands around the neck of a coworker to fix his collar and he grabed my waist. Apparently this was just too much for her to handle.

With an incurably broken self estem, she will happily take the friends (loosely spoken) that she can get and I'm wouldn't loose sleep if she elected not to engage in meaningless conversation or insist I accompany her to Lane Bryant or Avenue to assist in her selection of clothing.
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Joined: 17 Nov 2003
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pb1974 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Sep 2004 at 1:20pm
I believe the statistics show that rape is a violent act, and not a sexual one. It doesn't matter what your friend looks like - if she's uncomfortable with getting in the car with two males, then that's not BS to her. I don't weigh half of 350lbs, but if my friends ever start saying that I look "like a carved pumpkin 2 weeks after Halloween", I hope I would find some new friends.


quote:
Originally posted by KNLNGUS
[br]

I have a friend who will not slug. She looks like a carved pumpkin 2 weeks after halloween and is every bit of 350lbs and a feminist. Every male out there is a potential rape threat to her and can violate her in some way and this upsets me. Take her purse maybe, for the few coins she carries, but to exist with the notion that getting into a vehicle with two men is cause for alarm is just plain BS.
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mycroftt View Drop Down
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Joined: 11 Feb 2002
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quote:
Originally posted by gsm
[br]I agree. The woman this happened to was there and would have the best take on in tone and manner) the intent of the driver. Those of you who deem it a joke were not there and cannot, therefore, with any credibility judge the driver's intent.


No! Wrong , wrong, wrong! The best judge of the driver's intent is the driver himself and his stated intent was making a joke.

The rider has no more credible take on that than you or I sitting at our keyboards. Personally I found the "victim's" statement to be a tad belligerent and unduly accusatory. My first impression was that she seemed hyper-sensitive and I didn't really believe her story. Upon reflection, though, I believe she is sincere because she is going to the effort to warn everyone else.

So all we have here is an incident that might have been a joke but was unfunny to the point of causing discomfort to an individual to the extent that she is warning us to be on our guard. It's really kind of pointless to debate the relative credibility of the principals - the only worthwhile point is to be on our guard.

Thanks are also due to the woman who originally brought this to Admin's attention and I add mine to everyone else's who thanked her.

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KNLNGUS View Drop Down
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KNLNGUS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Sep 2004 at 8:27am
I think that a man can joke with another man in the context of (joking or otherwise) about there being an expense. As a woman, I read that this lady was most likely intimidated by these two men. Perhaps it was their conversation, demeanor, dress, vehicle, and (most important) the fact she compromised on a rule she established for herself by getting into a vehicle with two male occupants.

Either way people, I would say that a great odd exists that the vehicle she was occupying had a handle for her egress upon arriving at the lot. A simple... "that comment was not necessary" would suffice and if you are a woman and you have established a set of rules then don't compromise. Carry your mace or pepper spray, read a book, and try your best to relax.

I have a friend who will not slug. She looks like a carved pumpkin 2 weeks after halloween and is every bit of 350lbs and a feminist. Every male out there is a potential rape threat to her and can violate her in some way and this upsets me. Take her purse maybe, for the few coins she carries, but to exist with the notion that getting into a vehicle with two men is cause for alarm is just plain BS.

To the ladies on this forum. Ever shake a man's hand? They don't feel like yours do they. Chances are that although they may be a paper pusher during the day, the are a weekend warrior occupied with building a deck, riding their motorcycles, fixing a fence (and although a man will spend $200.00 to fix a $50.00 door... their dutiful projects do get them out of our hair... See, men are useful!) and just like their hands... their personalities can be a bit rough. They joke and say not so nice or pleasant things all the time. Its their nature. Their conversations are not about candle making, Michael's, and their latest finds at Lord Taylors. Thinking back to my college days when a professor made a male friend of mine write on the wall, "I will not be a rude crude dude to the ladies" 500 times.
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote vabigblue Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Sep 2004 at 8:11am
I think the woman in question was certainly in the best position to determine if the statement(s) were threatening. Maybe to her it seemed that way whereas to some others it might appear to be a joke. Apparently Admin thought the story was creditable enough to post on our site. I think the incident warrants warning us of, besides, it makes sense because we have the method and ability to alert others.
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gsm View Drop Down
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Joined: 04 Jun 2003
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gsm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Sep 2004 at 1:29pm
I agree. The woman this happened to was there and would have the best take on in tone and manner) the intent of the driver. Those of you who deem it a joke were not there and cannot, therefore, with any credibility judge the driver's intent.

quote:
Originally posted by SJS
[br]Come on Slugbug, maybe threatened was not the right word BUT it is obvious that she felt intimidated because the driver and other passenger were male. And, just for the record, there was a driver several years ago that tried to charge slugs for heat and air conditioning. So, it does happen. Never say never![:p]
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Joined: 03 Oct 2003
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SJS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2004 at 1:33pm
Come on Slugbug, maybe threatened was not the right word BUT it is obvious that she felt intimidated because the driver and other passenger were male. And, just for the record, there was a driver several years ago that tried to charge slugs for heat and air conditioning. So, it does happen. Never say never![:p]
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slugbug View Drop Down
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Joined: 14 May 2004
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Points: 0 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote slugbug Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2004 at 1:21pm
But even so......What is there to feel "threatened" about if she says they did ask for money? Yes it's a "no-no" - but definitely not something we need to "SAFEGUARD" ourselves on???!!! I still believe she took a statement out of context, and that's my opinion, so i'll leave it alone now. [:D]


quote:
Originally posted by SJS
[br]If she felt threatened or uncomfortable, it was not a joke![:(]
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