Coping with the Commute

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   quote:
Originally posted by dudte

Where I came from I had a 45 mile commute. It took 37 minutes from my garage to the very open parking lot of my employer (state university). 80 mph (or so...).  What a life, what a commute. When I told my Dad I bought a townhouse he said "you bought an apartment? for $400,000? YOu could have bought three houses on the golf course here for that". Yeah, Dad but I had no opportunity, no income, no growth, and yeah, no real commute. I can afford the townhouse here. And no, it is not an apprtment. I've learned to live w/ no yard. Even like it. 

	I came here for the opportunities inherent to the area and gave up the open interstates, the huge lawn, and neighbors who wave and smile. But I make enough money to help my kids go to really great universities, I have traveled the world, and yeah, I sit on the road every now and then. It does suck the life - for my wife much more than me. I think I understand from watching her struggle with the time away, the desire to be at home, the loss of work out time, "me" time. It may not a solution for you but we made specific career decisions to maximize my income potential to allow her more flexibility (time at home working .5 or .75 rather than FT). I don't do what I truly love but I make $$. She's happy, I send a truckload of money to Harvard every semester, and I love my slug riders. Not all ideal - I'd rather make my living catching fish, telling big stories...  It all seemed to make more sense when I was complaining about the roads being clogged here and being wide open for hundreds of miles where we came from. My daughter reminded me we used to drive fast and for a long time but when we got there we hadn't arrived at anything. Here, I drive very slowly occassionally but then I've arrived - at the Lincoln Memorial, at Wolf Trap, the Chesepeake, the WH, Ben's Chili Bowl, and on and on. Trade off's. We've come to some resolution about it. Hope you can too.

	Hop in - let's go home.

	here, here

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blacksky Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 03 Sep 2007 Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote blacksky Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 21 Jul 2008 at 10:41pm
	quote: Originally posted by dudte Where I came from I had a 45 mile commute. It took 37 minutes from my garage to the very open parking lot of my employer (state university). 80 mph (or so...). What a life, what a commute. When I told my Dad I bought a townhouse he said "you bought an apartment? for $400,000? YOu could have bought three houses on the golf course here for that". Yeah, Dad but I had no opportunity, no income, no growth, and yeah, no real commute. I can afford the townhouse here. And no, it is not an apprtment. I've learned to live w/ no yard. Even like it. I came here for the opportunities inherent to the area and gave up the open interstates, the huge lawn, and neighbors who wave and smile. But I make enough money to help my kids go to really great universities, I have traveled the world, and yeah, I sit on the road every now and then. It does suck the life - for my wife much more than me. I think I understand from watching her struggle with the time away, the desire to be at home, the loss of work out time, "me" time. It may not a solution for you but we made specific career decisions to maximize my income potential to allow her more flexibility (time at home working .5 or .75 rather than FT). I don't do what I truly love but I make $$. She's happy, I send a truckload of money to Harvard every semester, and I love my slug riders. Not all ideal - I'd rather make my living catching fish, telling big stories... It all seemed to make more sense when I was complaining about the roads being clogged here and being wide open for hundreds of miles where we came from. My daughter reminded me we used to drive fast and for a long time but when we got there we hadn't arrived at anything. Here, I drive very slowly occassionally but then I've arrived - at the Lincoln Memorial, at Wolf Trap, the Chesepeake, the WH, Ben's Chili Bowl, and on and on. Trade off's. We've come to some resolution about it. Hope you can too. Hop in - let's go home. here, here

toomuchcoffeelady Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 27 May 2008 Location: VA Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote toomuchcoffeelady Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 Jul 2008 at 1:23pm
	OK... You all mention your families in your posts as part of, if not the entire, the reason you get up and do this lifesucking commute. So, if you have no children; and the 50-mile drive to the Smithsonian you've seen 2556309583098 times isn't floating your boat (not to mention the LAST thing I feel like doing on the weekends is getting back into the car), then what?

n/a Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 17 Dec 2001 Location: VA Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote n/a Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 Jul 2008 at 2:49pm
	quote: Originally posted by toomuchcoffeelady OK... You all mention your families in your posts as part of, if not the entire, the reason you get up and do this lifesucking commute. So, if you have no children; and the 50-mile drive to the Smithsonian you've seen 2556309583098 times isn't floating your boat (not to mention the LAST thing I feel like doing on the weekends is getting back into the car), then what? Only other options: learn to live with it, or move away. But, "away" where? It's crowded everywhere now! Bad traffic everywhere now! Everything is a trade-off; learn to put up with bad traffic and crowds so that we can provide for those who we love. I figure I can tolerate a few more years of this rat race, at least until my kids are out of college. Then who know's what?

serenitynow Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Location: VA Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote serenitynow Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 Jul 2008 at 3:05pm
	Do you have any option to telecommute or work from a telework center, even if it is only one day a week?

serenitynow Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Location: VA Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote serenitynow Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 Jul 2008 at 3:18pm
	quote: Originally posted by toomuchcoffeelady OK... You all mention your families in your posts as part of, if not the entire, the reason you get up and do this lifesucking commute. So, if you have no children; and the 50-mile drive to the Smithsonian you've seen 2556309583098 times isn't floating your boat (not to mention the LAST thing I feel like doing on the weekends is getting back into the car), then what? agreed, our youngest of 6 just graduated One word - RETIREMENT and the commute is a means to our end. Already have one waiting for me, working on #2 and hubby is within 5 years, but will probably leave on Friday and come back Monday as a contractor, but.. more on his own terms eh? it does alter the perspective. As for laws, if nothing else there should be provisions for working parents, mom & dad both. DC is basically a very flexible work schedule city and it would be great if employers were more willing to embrace "virtual" office philosophy. production is production, whether I see you do it or not.

dudte Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 05 Oct 2006 Location: Va Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote dudte Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 Jul 2008 at 9:02pm
	We had to decide as a couple how much "live today" and how much "build for the future". LIfe is short, do it now, do what you like. That lead to moving away from everything - family, friends, roots - and to everything that is DC metro, good and bad. Build for the future - sacrifice to invest, put money into education for children rather than driving new Mercedes, live below means. None of this is your answer but encouragement that your struggle is common. I love the wide open spaces, the simple life, having coffee in the only spot in town. I so miss the sunsets, the thunderstorms, and yes, even the tornados. But I've also learned to love the Mall, the Metro, and yes, even the HOV. I love the Smithsonians(s)! But I don't have to go there every day and on the weekend. You may have reached a tipping point, a point at which you put everything up for consideration. Is it time to work 50 miles west of here rather than battling 400,000 other folks all trying to get into the same District? We came to a point where we said "open the map - nothing is off the table". Of course my first job offering was in Nevada. Turns out not everthing was on the table!! The pictures at least suggested there is no grass in Nevada. But the exercise was valuable. If you are at the tipping point maybe you are ready to get out the map, update the resume/CV, and take a look - even Nevada... Tough stuff, all.

Jody Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jody Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 Jul 2008 at 4:47pm
	If only telecommuting were an option for secretaries. I work for a law firm. Every Friday during the summer, the partners & associates leave early but want their secretaries to stay to transfer any client calls to them.

getmehome pweeze Members Profile Find Members Posts Master Slug Joined: 18 Jun 2004 Location: VA Status: Offline Points: 501	Post Options Post Reply Quote getmehome pweeze Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 Jul 2008 at 11:28am
	Dudte- Thank you. I can relate to your posting. My husband and I moved her from NY because of the job opportunities. We even moved to VA, didnt like it, moved back to NY, couldnt afford it, and here we are- townhouse and four month old later- happy, and tired. I hate giving up my baby to daycare 12 hours a day. I hate having to worry whether I can get a ride, take the bus, afford to drive in- everyday. But, these are the paths we choose. Most of the time to do rite by our families, even if that means less time during the week- more time on weekends and holidays to be a normal person. I too miss the big back yard, and a regular neighborhood where you know your neighbors first name. Its all good. I love my job, my hubby, and my baby. Slug'n till 2010 (when the HOT lanes roll in)

DC2RV Members Profile Find Members Posts Master Slug Joined: 28 Feb 2002 Location: VA Status: Offline Points: 1014	Post Options Post Reply Quote DC2RV Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 Aug 2008 at 8:01pm
	Toomuchcoffeelady - commuting doesn't get any better, it only gets worse... I've done metro, the bus, carpooling, driving solo, slugging. And this since the early/mid 90's. As others have said, we make choices and try to deal. Luckily for me, I'm in Burke so my commute isn't (usually) as long as yours. Friends of mine have commuted from F'burg - they found vanpools the right solution. Me - i couldn't do it. I'd suggest trying the various options available to you to see which one's the least onerous. So, hang in there, good luck, and Stella is only 13.99 a 12 pack at Giant.[:)]

toomuchcoffeelady Members Profile Find Members Posts New Slug Joined: 27 May 2008 Location: VA Status: Offline Points: 0	Post Options Post Reply Quote toomuchcoffeelady Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 Aug 2008 at 12:25pm
	What's stella?